Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road

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Chee Soon Juan - Did I say that the chicken
crossed the road? I meant the chicken-rice stall across the road, but left out
some letters because of typo.
SDP vice-chairman - wo ting bu dong ni jiang shen
me. (I don't know what you are saying).
Ling How Doong - don't talk cock.
Worker's Party - The PAP doesn't allow chickens to
cross the road.
Chiam See Tong - The opposition must be loyal to
Singapore.  Don't eat Hainanese chicken rice. Eat Singapore noodles.
Ling How Doong - don't talk cock.
Chee Soon Juan - Did I say eat Hainanese chicken
rice?  I said CONSUME chicken rice at the stall across the road.
PAP - There is no chicken rice stall across the road.
Worker's Party - That is not true. The PAP just
doesn't want chickens to cross the road.
Chiam See Tong - We must always stay on this side of
the road and remain true Singaporeans.
Ling How Doong - don't talk cock.
Chee Soon Juan - Did I say consume chicken rice
across the road? I said eat chicken rice OPPOSITE the road.
PAP - You said something different just a moment ago.
Ling How Doong - Don't talk cock. We didn't say it.
Chee Soon Juan - I have already repeated this
sentence many times. I said, EAT chicken rice ALONG the road. --- contributed by Chua Kay Chuan
PM Goh:
What does being a chicken mean?  Does it mean that if the chicken does not
get to cross the road it will feel less than part of the coop?  No. 
That must not be so.  We are all chickens here and we must work together as
chickens.  We must want to stay in the coop, not because the coop provides
us shelter, but because we are all chickens.  Understand our chicken history to know that we have come to far from those bad
days when we were just running around like unruly kampung chickens and not being
hot housed as well-disciplined and efficient battery hens.  We have to make
sacrifices, but at the same time we support each other.  So that if we ask
you to give up the idea of crossing the road, you will understand that it is for
the good of the coop.  Only together as a coop can we stay cohesive.
Lim Boon Heng:
As a working chicken you must understand that crossing roads is not for you. It
is meant for the professional chickens.  These chickens are far and few in
between and will require even corn on the other side of the road to cross our roads because they can cross roads anywhere in the world they choose. So for
the greater good of the coop, please understand that crossing roads is not meant
for you.  And while you're at it can you please take a wage freeze?
BG Yeo:
This is because the chicken is sensitive to the multi-racial nature of its
society and although it understands each culture is different, it also realizes
that it must live within society.  So it compromises.  It finds some values -- a little from the Chinese, a little from the Indians, something
from the Malays -- something uniquely Singaporean, and eventually it gathers the
energy, the wider vision, the impetus to cross the road.
SM Lee:
This is Asia.  As young chickens, chase the rainbow and cross the roads
here. Opportunities abound. You might get run down by cars in the process of
crossing these roads, especially those in Myanmar, but it doesn't matter. For
ten thousand who get run down one might reach it across -- and at the end of
that rainbow -- there will be your dream.  So it baffles me when they tell
me that they want to cross other roads, elsewhere, because it is here that road
crossing should be done.
BG Lee:
The chicken is a liar, a twister and a prevaricator and not only should he
be run down, but he should also be defeathered, boiled and skinned-alive as
an example for all other chickens to see and that will teach them a lesson in road crossing and typo errors.
--- contributed by Anon
A: Because it was a Singaporean chicken and the PAP
told it to cross.
A: Because it wanted to get to MRT station on the PAP
side of the road.
A: How did you know the chicken REALLY crossed the
road - don't be naive and believe everything you read in the local press.
A: I don't know, I'm doing science, not arts.
A: Why are you asking him? Only MPs who graduate from
Ivy League universities are qualified to comment on the real reason why the chicken crossed
the street.
A: The chicken did not speak English or Mandarin and
was therefore unable to get on the sedan chair and be carried across the street.
A: Free textbooks available across the street?
A: Will it be on the exam?
--- contributed by Edmund Chia
No chicken ever crossed the road. You think the chicken crossed the road because
you see the chicken rice stall opposite the road. The statistics showed that an
average of 93.408 people cross this road daily over the past year, of which
5.325% did not use the pedestrian crossing last month and were duly caught and
fined. 70.874% stopped at the chicken rice stall to take their lunch of which
41.366% packaged it home.
But there are there are no data showing any chicken ever crossed the road. Let's
get real.  How can a chicken ever cross the road?  It will be killed
by the traffic before it made even half the way.  Don't let the SDP mislead
you with false data.
Even though no chicken ever crossed the road, but through the sound policies of
the PAP government over the years, the chicken rice stall continues to enjoy
good growth. And people continue to enjoy good and high quality chicken rice
daily. So if you give the government your full backing, you can be assured of
eating more years of chicken rice even though no chicken ever crossed the road.
--- contributed by Harish Pillay

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