Wiggum: I'd Like To Help You Ma'am, But, Heh Heh, I'm Afraid There's No Law Against Mailing Threatening Letters.

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Wiggum: I'd like to help you ma'am, but, heh heh, I'm afraid there's no
law against mailing threatening letters.
Marge: [indignantly] I'm pretty sure there is.
Wiggum: Hah! The day I take cop lessons from Ma Kettle --
Lou: Hey, she's right, Chief. [shows him "Springfield Law"]
Wiggum: Well, shut my mouth. It's _also_ illegal to put squirrels down
your pants for the purposes of gambling.
[Shot of Eddie the cop with squirrels running around in his
pants, and a bunch of cops watching and laughing]
Boys, knock it off!
-- The perks of being a man in blue, "Cape Feare"