Homer: ...so They Say I Might Have A Problem. [finishes Brushing His Teeth, And Polishes Off A Bottle Of That Wonderful Duff] Marge

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Homer: ...so they say I might have a problem.
[finishes brushing his teeth, and polishes off a bottle of that
wonderful Duff]
Marge: [reading from a pamphlet entitled, "Is Your Spouse a Souse?"]
Homey, do you ever drink alone?
Homer: Does the Lord count as a person?
Marge: No.
Homer: Then yes.
Marge: Do you need a beer to fall asleep?
Homer: Thank you, that'd be nice.
Marge: Do you ever hide beer around the house?
Homer: Do I ever!
[fetches a beer from its hiding place in the toilet tank, and
takes a swig] Ahhhh.
Marge: Do you ever drink to escape from reality.
Homer: [looks in the mirror and imagines himself as a big muscular guy]
[to "Can-Can"] Duhh, duh duh duh duh duuh duuh, duh duh duh duh
duuh duuh, duh duh duh duh duh, duh duh duh duh...
Marge: Homey, I'd like you to do something for me.
Homer: You name it.
Marge: I want you to give up beer for a month.
Homer: You got it. No deer for a month.
Marge: Did you say beer, or deer?
Homer: .... Deer.
Marge: Please, Homey, I know you can do this.
Homer: All right, starting tomorrow no beer for a month.
[puts the light out. We can hear the sound of a can popping
Marge: What was that noise?
Homer: I was saying, "Psssst, I love you."
-- "Duffless"