Man #1: Champ, Do You Feel Remorse For Your Crime? Tatum

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Man #1: Champ, do you feel remorse for your crime?
Tatum: Oh, yes. Believe me, my god, if I could turn back the clock on
my mother's stair-pushing, I would certainly... reconsider it.
Man #2: Drederick, ah, what do you think of Homer Simpson?
Tatum: I think he's a good man. I like him. I got nothing against
him, but I'm definately gonna make orphans of his children.
Man #3: Uh, you know, they _do_ have a mother, Champ.
Tatum: Yes, but I would imagine that she would die of grief.
[interviewers continue to battle to get their questions in]
Lucius: Thank you, thank you. But the champ has no time for further
queries. This parole hearing is over.
[audience/hearers groan]
Man #4: I wanted to know what it was like in prison...
-- The law meets the National Enquirer,
"The Homer They Fall"