Bart: Mrs. Krabappel, I can't take the test. I have a stomach ache.
Edna: Well, that's a lame excuse for an excuse. Hah!
Bart: Look, if you ignore me and I die, you'll get in a _lot_ of
Edna: Read page six of the school charter. [hands him one]
Bart: "No teacher shall be held accountable if Bart Simpson dies."
Edna: We're also absolved if Milhouse gets eaten by the school
Milhouse: [inside the snake] Hey, cool! There's a rabbit in here.
-- Mmm, absolution, "'Round Springfield"