Mel: Mr. Burns Was Shot Friday At Three P.m., The Very Time That Smithers Was At Home Watching "Pardon My Zinger".

HomeFortune CookiesThe Simpsons

Mel: Mr. Burns was shot Friday at three p.m., the very time that
Smithers was at home watching "Pardon My Zinger". So you see,
he couldn't have done it.
Smithers: [gasps] Yes, you're right! I remember now, I watched that
entire show. In fact --
[flash to shot of Smithers's feet weaving down sidewalk]
Smithers: [voice over] I left the town meeting early so I could get home
in time.
[in flashback] [slurred] Ohh, I've got to run or I'll miss
the opening rank-out.
[a shadow approaches in front]
Get of my way, please --
Jasper: Slow down. The sidewalk's for regular walking, not for fancy
Smithers: Get out of my way, I'm in a hurry.
Jasper: You simmer down, I'll let you go.
[Smithers pulls a gun, shoots]
[back to the present]
Smithers: So...instead of wounding an evil old man, I may have killed an
innocent old man. That's much worse!
Krusty: {About 50,000 volts worse, if you know what I mean! [makes
electrocuting sound effects]}
-- Krusty's legendary sympathy,
"Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part Two"