I Know I'm Blond, But I Have To Colour My Hair Brown, So People Whould Not Think I'm Stupid.
I know I'm blond, but I have to colour my hair brown, so people whould
not think I'm stupid. Because, like the title of the book says: "You've only
got Three Seconds".
Actually, since dad baught two books like that, you've only got six
I(ve) B(een) M(islead)
My only books Were woman's looks,-- And folly 's all they 've taught me.
-- Thomas Moore (1779-1852) -- The Time I 've lost in wooing...
One day I got on the usual bus, and when I stepped in, I saw the most gorgeous blond Chinese girl.
..I sat beside her. I said, "Hi," and she said, "Hi," and then I said, "Nice day, isn't it?...
When I 'm not thank'd at all, I 'm thank'd enough; I 've done my duty, and I 've done no more.
-- Henry Fielding (1707-1754) -- Tom Thumb the Great, Act i, Sc. 3...
Moe: So, come on: I need a name that says friendly, all-American cooking.
Homer: How about, "Chairman Moe's Magic Wok"? Barney...
Guru Saj: You must be Ross. Ross: Hi. Guru Saj: I am Guru Saj.
(takes the drawer back and replaces) Ross: Listen, I got to tell you I_ve-I_ve never been to a guru before, so....
I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me.
.. I pushed '1' and he just stood there... I said 'Hi, where you going?...
I want to share something with you -- the three little sentences that will get you through life.
Number one, `Cover for me.' Number two, `Oh, good idea, boss....
We have fun--that's what I like about bowling. You can have fun even if you stink, unlike in, say, tennis.
Every decade or so, I attempt to play tennis, and it always consists of thirty-seven seconds of actually hitting the ball and two hours of yelling, "Where did the ball go?...