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• How many blondes -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!...
• How many safety inspectors -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Four. One to change it and three to hold the ladder....
• How many blacks -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Three: One to boogie up the ladder, two to keep the beat....
• How many Pentium designers -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  Three. One to screw in the bulb and the other to hold the ladder.......
• How many old macrobiotics -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Five. One to change it, three to hold the ladder, and one to call the ambulance....
• How many Microsoft technicians -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Three: two holding the ladder and one to screw the bulb into a faucet....
• How many Freudians -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Two. One to hold the ladder and one to change the penis. Oops! I mean, er, the light bulb....
• How many drunk Irishmen -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  100. One to hold the light bulb, and 99 to drink until the room starts to spin....
• How many lawyers -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Three. One to climb the ladder, one to shake the ladder, and one to sue the ladder company....