Hi, This Is John's Answering Machine Again. He's Gone And Left Me For A Sleazy Microwave He Met At Krazy Eddy's.

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Hi, this is John's answering machine again. He's gone and left
me for a sleazy microwave he met at Krazy Eddy's. Life sucks.
Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his
refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your
message to myself with one of these magnets.
Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in
the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the
toast is done... (Cachunk!)
-- Answering machine madness - machine theme