Eventually, the Ramons conquered the Geeks. History call people Romans
because they never stayed in one place for very long. At Roman banquets, the
guests wore garlic in their hair. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the
battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March killed him because they thought he
was going to be made king. Nero was a cruel tyrany who would torture his poor
subjects by playing the fiddle to them.
-- Richard Lederer, The world According to Student Bloopers