Did You Ever Notice When You Blow In A Dog's Face He Gets Mad At You?
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But
when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window.
-- Steve Bluestein
Better not take a dog on the Space Shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up.
-- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
Did you ever hear someone say this: "It was more fun than a barrel of monkeys"?
Did you ever smell a barrel of monkeys? -- Steve Bluestei...
You don't go out and kick a mad dog. If you have a mad dog with rabies, you take a gun and shoot him.
-- Pat Robertson, TV Evangelist, about Muammar Kadhafy...
Marge: I'm sorry: Homer doesn't mean to be rude, he's just a very complicated man.
[Homer appears at the bedroom window, breaks a plate over his head] Home...
If you want to know what a man is really like, take notice how he acts when he looses money.
-- New England proverb...
Marge: Homer [knocks again] Homer, why aren't you at work?
Homer: The car won't start. I don't feel very good today....
Something better... 1 (obvious): Excuse me. Is that your nose or did a bus park on your face?
2 (meteorological): Everybody take cover. She's going to blow....
A Southern boy graduates from high school heads north to college, taking the family dog, Old Blue with him, for company.
He's only been there a few weeks when he gets a call from his girlfriend...
Two Finns and a penguin are sitting on the front porch of a large house.
The penguin is dripping in sweat; his owner looks down and says to the other Finn, "Hey Urho, I want that you should take the penguin to the zoo, okay?...