CRITIC, N. A Person Who Boasts Himself Hard To Please Because Nobody Tries To Please Him.

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CRITIC, n. A person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody
tries to please him.

There is a land of pure delight,
Beyond the Jordan's flood,
Where saints, apparelled all in white,
Fling back the critic's mud.

And as he legs it through the skies,
His pelt a sable hue,
He sorrows sore to recognize
The missiles that he threw.
Orrin Goof
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"