Called A Blind Date To Set Up A Meeting At A Restaurant.
Called a blind date to set up a meeting at a restaurant. I said, "I'll be the
one driving the Mercedes and wearing a Rolex." Never found her, but when I got
home my place was robbed.
-- [Imitation] Steven Wright
Called a blind date to set up a meeting at a restaurant.
I said, "I'll be the one in the leather jacket." She said, "I'll be the one drinking sake....
I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm.
By the time I got the machine set up, I was done. -- [Imitation] Steven Wrigh...
I got up one morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called Information.
She said, "Hello, Information." I said, "I can't find my socks....
I went to a fancy french restaurant called "Deja Vu.
The headwaiter said, Don't I know you? -- Steven Wrigh...
For my sister's 40th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram. -- [Imitation] Steven Wrigh
I had to stop driving my car for a while...the tires got dizzy. -- Steven Wrigh
When I woke up this morning, my girlfriend asked if I had slept well.
I said, "No, I made a few mistakes." -- Steven Wrigh...
One day, when I came home from work, I accidently put my car key in the door of my apartment building.
.. I turned it... and the whole building started up....
While I was gone, somebody rearranged on the furniture in my bedroom.
They put it in EXACTLY the same place it was. When I told my roommate, he said...