Related:

• When I was fourteen years old, I was amazed at how unintelligent my father was.
  By the time I turned twenty-one, I was astounded how much he had learned in the last seven years....
• My father? My father left when I was quite young.
  Well actually, he was asked to leave. He had trouble metabolizing alcohol. -- George Carli...
• One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around.
  I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face....
• When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.
  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years....
• Pedro Guerrero was playing third base for the Los Angeles Dodgers in 1984 when he made the comment that earns him a place in my Hall of Fame.
  Second baseman Steve Sax was having trouble making his throws....
• When I woke up this morning, my girlfriend asked if I had slept well.
  I said, "No, I made a few mistakes." -- Steven Wrigh...
• And I thought *I* had problems!
• On my first acid trip, I thought I was God. On my second acid trip I thought I was Jesus.
  On my third trip I thought I was Napoleon and on my fourth trip I thought I was a toadstool....
• I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong. -- Lucy Van Pel