Maiden, N: A Young Person Of The Unfair Sex Addicted To Clewless Conduct And Views That Madden To Crime.

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Maiden, n:
A young person of the unfair sex addicted to clewless conduct and
views that madden to crime. The genus has a wide geographical
distribution, being found wherever sought and deplored wherever found.
The maiden is not altogether unpleasing to the eye, nor (without her
piano and her views) insupportable to the ear, though in respect to
comeliness distinctly inferior to the rainbow, and, with regard to
the part of her that is audible, beaten out of the field by the
canary -- which, also, is more portable.

Male, n:
A member of the unconsidered, or negligible sex. The male of the
human race is commonly known to the female as Mere Man. The genus
has two varieties: good providers and bad providers.
-- Ambrose Bierce