I Tell Ya, Drugs Never Worked Out For Me. The First Time I Tried Smoking Pot I Didn't Know What I Was Doing.

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I tell ya, drugs never worked out for me. The first time I tried smoking
pot I didn't know what I was doing. I smoked half the joint, got the
munchies, and ate the other half.

Well, the first time I tried coke I was so embarrassed. I kept getting the
bottle stuck up my nose.
-- Rodney Dangerfield