Never ask your lover if he'd dive in front of an oncoming train for
you. He doesn't know. Never ask your lover if she'd dive in front of an
oncoming band of Hell's Angels for you. She doesn't know. Never ask how many
cigarettes your lover has smoked today. Cancer is a personal committment.
Never ask to see pictures of your lover's former lovers -- especially
the ones who dived in front of trains. If you look like one of them, you are
repeating history's mistakes. If you don't, you'll wonder what he or she saw
in the others.
While we are on the subject of pictures: You may admire the picture
of your lover cavorting naked in a tidal pool on Maui. Don't ask who took
it. The answer is obvious. A Japanese tourist took the picture.
Never ask if your lover has had therapy. Only people who have had
therapy ask if people have had therapy.
Don't ask about plaster casts of male sex organs marked JIMI, JIM, etc.
Assume that she bought them at a flea market.
-- James Peterson and Kate Nolan