In what can only be described as a surprise move, God has officially
announced His candidacy for the U.S. presidency. During His press conference
today, the first in over 4000 years, He is quoted as saying, "I think I have
a chance for the White House if I can just get my campaign pulled together
in time. I'd like to get this country turned around; I mean REALLY turned
around! Let's put Florida up north for awhile, and let's get rid of all
those annoying mountains and rivers. I never could stand them!"
There apparently is still some controversy over the Almighty's
citizenship and other qualifications for the Presidency. God replied to
these charges by saying, "Come on, would the United States have anyone other
than a citizen bless their country?"