First, A Few Words About Tools. Basically, A Tool Is An Object That Enables You To Take Advantage Of The Laws Of Physics And Mechanics In Such A Way That You Can Seriously Injure Yourself.

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First, a few words about tools.

Basically, a tool is an object that enables you to take advantage of
the laws of physics and mechanics in such a way that you can seriously
injure yourself. Today, people tend to take tools for granted. If
you're ever walking down the street and you notice some people who look
particularly smug, the odds are that they are taking tools for
granted. If I were you, I'd walk right up and smack them in the face.
-- Dave Barry, "The Taming of the Screw"