Related:

• I have a cunning plan to get us out of being killed, sir.
  Oh yes? What is it? Cooking... I see. (moves off) -- Baldrick and Edmund : Captain Cook...
• If I shot myself, my ex would sue me for the bullet.
• Did you just crawl over some barbed wire, sir? No..
  .I just put my elbow in a blob of ice-cream. -- Baldrick and Edmund : Captain Cook...
• Baldrick, I would like to say how much I will miss your honest and friendly companionship.
  Ah. Thankyou, Mr.B. But as we both know, it would be an utter lie....
• Take a look at this - I'm sure you know it. 'King and Country'.
  Ah yes...without doubt my _favourite_ magazine. Soft, strong....
• Moe: OK, when I call your name, uh, you say "present" or "here".
  Er, no, say "present". Ahem, Anita Bath?...
• Like corn in a field I cut you down, I threw the last punch way too hard, After years of going steady, well, I thought it was time, To throw in my hand for a new set of cards.
  And I can't take you dancing out on the weekend, I figured we'd painted too much of this town, And I tried not to look as I walked to my wagon, And I knew then I had lost what should have been found, I knew then I had lost what should have been found....
• Duncan [Phoebe's Husband]: Oh God, I don't know how to tell you this.
  I'm straight. Phoebe: Huuh. Duncan: Yeah, I know, I....
• When I bought some new glasses a few months ago, the lady kept on saying how great the lenses were that I was getting.
  She kept on saying, ``You can shoot a bullet right through them....