Some People Have A Lot Of Vanity. They Say, "I Only Wear Glasses When I Drive.
Some people have a lot of vanity. They say, "I only wear glasses when I
drive." If you only need glasses when you drive, then drive around with a
-- Brian Regan
Grandpa Charnock's Law: You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
[I thought it was when your kids learned to drive. Ed.]...
There are a lot of drunk people about to drive home, so drive as fast as you can.
It's harder for drunk people to hit you....
Why drive a Volkswagen when you can have a Rolls Royce?
Yo momma so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
When I bought some new glasses a few months ago, the lady kept on saying how great the lenses were that I was getting.
She kept on saying, ``You can shoot a bullet right through them....
Format all 10? But I can only fit 3 in the drive at once!!
When people say that the desert is lifeless, it just makes me want to grab them by the collar and yell, "Why you stupid, stupid bastard!
Then I drive them out into the desert to where the circus is, and point out the many forms of zebra and clown life....
Troy: [surprised in disgust] Uh... Hello, beautiful!
John Law tells me I might need to wear these glasses....