My Teacher Told Me That Today Was The First Day Of The Rest Of My Life.
My teacher told me that today was the first day of the rest of my life.
That explains why I didn't do yesterday's homework.
-- Lorne Elliott
If today is the first day of the rest of your life, what the hell was yesterday?
Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked it why.
It told me it was none of my business. -- Steven Wrigh...
Today is the first day of the rest of my death. Tomorrow will be the next day of it. Bwwaahh.
Jacek, a Polish schoolboy, is told by his teacher that he has been chosen to carry the Polish flag in the May Day parade.
"Why me?" whines the boy. "Three years ago I carried the flag when Brezhnev was the Secretary...
Days of my life I'd like to forget: The day the doctors told me I was sick.
The day I had to tell my friends I was ill. The day my hair fell out....
My, my--65! I guess this marks the first day of the rest of our life savings. -- H. Marti
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.