My Husband Forgot My Birthday And My Anniversary. I Didn't Feel Bad.
My husband forgot my birthday and my anniversary. I didn't feel bad. On the
contrary. Give me a guilty husband any day. Some of my best outfits come
from his guilt!
-- Betty Walker
I'm not gay, my husband is.
Bart: I thought I'd be jumping for joy the day Skinner got fired.
Now all I have is this weird hot feeling in the back of my head....
My Seventh Husband: Ivana Newhouse
My wife doesn't give me any trouble anymore. She died.
I had her cremated. I mixed in a little marijuana and smoked her....
I am in total control, but don't tell my husband.
I used to have a life, then my husband got the modem!
I used to call [Count Basie] one of my lawyers. He would give me such beautiful advice.
And he would phrase that advice into these little sayings....
Some day my ship will come in, and with my luck I'll be at the airport.
This is Betty Frenel. I don't know who to call but I can't reach my Food-a-holics partner.
I'm at Vido's on my second pizza, with sausage and mushroom. Jim, come and get me!...