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I Think The Mistake A Lot Of Us Make Is Thinking The State-appointed Psychiatrist Is Our "friend.
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I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed
psychiatrist is our "friend."
-- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey
Related:
Basically, there are three ways the skunk and I are a lot alike.
The first is, we both like to spread our "stink" around....
I wish scientists would come up with a way to make dogs a lot bigger, but with a smaller head.
That way, they'd still be good as watchdogs, but they wouldn't eat as much....
I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.
-- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?
-- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that's another weakness.
-- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
In weightlifting, I don't think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you.
-- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
I think the monkeys at the zoo should have to wear sunglasses so they can't hypnotize you.
-- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait.
Not me, you. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
Sometimes I think the so-called experts actually ARE experts. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey