I Got Up One Morning And Couldn't Find My Socks, So I Called Information.
I got up one morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called Information. She
said, "Hello, Information." I said, "I can't find my socks." She said,
They're behind the couch." And they were!
-- Steven Wright
I woke up this morning and couldn't find my socks, so I called information.
She said they were behind the couch. She was right. -- Stephen Wrigh...
One day I got on the usual bus, and when I stepped in, I saw the most gorgeous blond Chinese girl.
..I sat beside her. I said, "Hi," and she said, "Hi," and then I said, "Nice day, isn't it?...
I was in a bar and I walked up to a beautiful woman and said, "Do you live around here often?
She said, "You're wearing two different-color socks....
I went into this bar and sat down next to a pretty girl.
She looked at me and said, "Hey, you have two different colored socks on....
Called a blind date to set up a meeting at a restaurant.
I said, "I'll be the one driving the Mercedes and wearing a Rolex....
I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep.
Mom said, "Steven, time to go to sleep." I said, "But I don't know how....
When I woke up this morning, my girlfriend asked if I had slept well.
I said, "No, I made a few mistakes." -- Steven Wrigh...
I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me.
.. I pushed '1' and he just stood there... I said 'Hi, where you going?...
I woke up one morning and looked around the room. Something wasn't right.
I realized that someone had broken in the night before and replaced everything in my apartment with an exact replica....