If I Lived Back In The Wild West Days, Instead Of Carrying A Six-gun In My Holster, I'd Carry A Soldering Iron.

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If I lived back in the Wild West days, instead of carrying a six-gun
in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck
cowboy said something like, "Hey look. He's carrying a soldering iron!"
and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could
just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron
of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because
they made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably
hit them up for a free drink.
-- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey