Related:

• Mice are handy accessories, but I prefer gerbil
• Last week, I went to Philidelphia, but it was closed. -- W. C. Field
• Stay alert! Trust no one! Keep your hockey stick handy!
• Stay alert! Trust no one! Keep your laser handy!
• I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. -- W. C. Fields (1890-1946)
• Women are like elephants to me: I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
  -- W. C. Field...
• True enough, you can not cross the bridge till you come to i
  but it is well in this world of constant uncertainty, to keep an extra pontoon or two handy, just in case you get to a river without a bridge....
• Once, during prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
  -- W. C. Field...
• I don't remember ever having had the itch, and yet scratching is one of nature's sweet pleasures, and so handy.