Marge: You Don't Have To Join A Freak Show Just Because The Opportunity Came Along.
Marge: You don't have to join a freak show just because the
opportunity came along.
Homer: You know, Marge, in some ways you and I are very different
Marge: So... you want to go on tour with a traveling freak show.
Homer: I don't think I have a choice, Marge. Marge...
Sir, I run Hullabalooza's pageant of the transmundane --the freak show, and I've been looking for a big fatso to shoot with a cannon.
I'd like very much for you to be that fatso....
Chamberlin: The hometown show's the big one, Homer.
Iha: Yeah, people who called you a weirdo in high school get to see what a successful freak you've become....
Marge: Homer, please. I have to alter this suit so it looks different for tomorrow.
Homer: [yawns] Just slap some bumper stickers on it and come to bed, will you, Marge?...
Homer: Marge, I want you to admit you have a gambling problem.
Marge: You know, you're right, Homer. Maybe I should get some professional help....
Marge: Homer, those were very thoughtful presents, but you have to tell me where you got the money from.
Homer: All right, Marge, I'll tell you, but first you have to promise you will not get mad....
Homer: Stupid driving test at the stupid DMV where stupid Patty and stupid Selma work!
Sometimes I think God is teasing me...just like he teased Moses in the desert....
Bart: Come watch TV with me, Dad. We missed the first two episodes of "Cops", but if we hurry we can catch the last three.
Homer: Aw, sorry Bart, Lisa and I are going out for a gelato....
Homer: Let me set the scene for you, Marge. Marge: All right.
Homer: It's a 7-10 split. Marge: Uh huh? Homer: The hardest shot in bowling....