3) "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house,"
I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
-- Lewis Grizzard...
We're going to find out tonight who the oldest lady in the audience is.
And we have a marvelous present for her. When we find the oldest lady, we're going to give her ....
A woman was married to a golfer. One day she asked, "If I were to die, would you remarry?
After some thought, the man replied, "Yes, I've been very happy in this marriage and I would want to be this happy again....
Bart: Oh, I'm never _ever_ going to see anything interesting with this stupid piece of junk.
[disassembles telescope, puts it away] [a woman screams] That came from Flanders' house!...
Her stature tall,--I hate a dumpy woman.
-- Lord Byron (1788-1824) -- Don Juan, Canto i, Stanza 61...
Lisa: [turning on dryer] There, now no one should be able to hear us.
Bart: What? Lisa: [turning off dryer] All right, we don't need the dryer....
Yeah I Married Her, I Married The HELL Out Of Her.
Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
Bart: I never heard Maggie laugh like that before. Lisa
Well, when was the last time Dad gave her that kind of attention?...