Here are two of my favorites (which I've never yet performed: maybe I'm just
not spiteful enough.)
Prickly pear cacti have two kinds of spines: large ones and tiny reddish
hairs that are incredibly irritating. Gather the tiny ones, and distribute
them into the clothing of someone you detest, perhaps the underwear. They
will probably be noticed too late. Caveat: this should make the clothes
permanently unusable.
Collect an engorged tick from a dog, and keep it until it produces an egg
mass. Hide the egg mass at a spot where the victim sits. Several hundred
tiny "seed ticks" will patiently wait their opportunity to swarm over the
first warm-blooded creature available. They are too small to easily pick
off, and just large enough to see. (This happened [by accident] to me in
Georgia this summer. I wasn't disturbed much, but then I study ticks and
mites for fun.)
Don't make an enemy of an imaginative biologist.
not spiteful enough.)
Prickly pear cacti have two kinds of spines: large ones and tiny reddish
hairs that are incredibly irritating. Gather the tiny ones, and distribute
them into the clothing of someone you detest, perhaps the underwear. They
will probably be noticed too late. Caveat: this should make the clothes
permanently unusable.
Collect an engorged tick from a dog, and keep it until it produces an egg
mass. Hide the egg mass at a spot where the victim sits. Several hundred
tiny "seed ticks" will patiently wait their opportunity to swarm over the
first warm-blooded creature available. They are too small to easily pick
off, and just large enough to see. (This happened [by accident] to me in
Georgia this summer. I wasn't disturbed much, but then I study ticks and
mites for fun.)
Don't make an enemy of an imaginative biologist.
Related:
- The Wizard of Zone
Once upon a time in Depression-era Kansas there was a little
black boy named Zachary X (pronounced "ex" not "ten") who lived
on a farm.
He was an orphan, a cheap device to garner your sympathy... - Edited by Brad Templeton. MAIL, yes MAIL your jokes to watmath!looking!funny .
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. I... - A black guy and a gorilla go into a bar together. He says to the
bartender,
"I'd like a beer, and a gin and tonic for my girlfriend... - The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah... - The responses below mention the following works (a few added):
A Random Walk in Science - R.L. Weber and E. Mendoza... - What's the difference between a banjo and a(n)...
Chain Saw:
( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can... - Federal Aviation Agency,
Washington 25, D.C.
Gentlemen:
I was asked to make a written statement concerning... - Federal Aviation Administration,
Washington, D.C.
Gentlemen:
I was asked to make a written statement concerning... - W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<<<
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while...
From the same category:
- This supposedly happened a bunch of years ago, when deposit slips imprinted
with one's account number were becoming available,
but banks still had trays with generic deposit slips... - Way back when, like before electric lights were invented,
I worked in an engineering department where the general... - This is a simple, harmless, and hilarious practical joke,
that has claimed me as a victim. The setting is a... - Propose to the victim a co-ordination test, and tell him that it has been
taken by the brightest people around you (quote some scores!).
You sit in front of the victim and put your ... - While in grad school, I was an "assistant" in a lab which contained two
pdp-11/23's running UNIX System 3.
Much of my education came from jokes played on me...
