In Warsaw there's a neighborhood improvement project going on. They're
building diving boards over the cesspools.
building diving boards over the cesspools.
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An annotated thermometer (degrees Fahrenheit)
+50
* New York tenants turn on the heat
* Minnesotans plant gardens
+40
* Californians shiver uncontrollably
* Minnesotans sunbathe
+35
* Italian cars don't start
+32
* Distilled water freezes
+30
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* Minnesotans eat ice cream
+25
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* Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you
+20
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* San Franciscans start thinking favorably of LA
* Green Bay Packers fans put on T-shirts
+15
* You plan a vacation to Cancun
* Minnesotans go swimming
+10
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* Too cold to snow
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0
* New York landlords turn on the heat
-5
* You can hear your breath
* You plan a vacation in Hawaii
-10
* American cars don't start
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-15
* You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
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-20
* Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you
* Politicians actually do something about the homeless
* People in LaCrosse think about taking down screens
-25
* Too cold to kiss
* You need jumper cables to get the driver going
* Japanese cars don't start
* Minnesota Twins head for spring training
-30
* You plan a two-week hot bath
* Bock beer production begins
* Minnesotans shovel snow off roof
-38
* Mercury freezes
* Too cold to think
* Minnesotans button top button
-40
* Californians disappear
* Car insists on sleeping in your bed with you
* Minnesotans put on sweaters
-50
* Congressional hot air freezes
* Alaskans close the bathroom window
* Green Bay Packers practice indoors
-60
* Walruses abandon Aleutians
* Minnesotans put gloves away,
take out mittens * Boy Scouts in Eau Claire start... - Ross Perot's Ear Improvement
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Project.......
