"The most important thing to find out about your electrical
system is whether it contains enough "volts", which are little
tiny pieces of energy shaped like arrows so you can tell which
direction they're moving. The standard measurement for volts is
"amps", also called "watts", which travel around in a "circuit"
as follows: At the electrical company, fuel oil is burned to set
fire to a generator, which gives off electrical energy in the
form of sparks, which are put into wires and sent to your home,
where the electricity waits in the wall until you turn on your
toaster, at which point it rushes through the wire and into the
English muffin, and from there into your stomach, where it
remains until you are walking down a hall scuffing your feet on
the carpet and you go to open a door, causing the electricity to
leap into the doorknob, where it remains forever, which is why
scientists are now concerned that if some unscrupulous entity
such as Libya or an adolescent male ever figures out how to
release this power, he could, using only the latent doorknob
energy contained in a single older ranch-style home, vaporize
Oregon."
system is whether it contains enough "volts", which are little
tiny pieces of energy shaped like arrows so you can tell which
direction they're moving. The standard measurement for volts is
"amps", also called "watts", which travel around in a "circuit"
as follows: At the electrical company, fuel oil is burned to set
fire to a generator, which gives off electrical energy in the
form of sparks, which are put into wires and sent to your home,
where the electricity waits in the wall until you turn on your
toaster, at which point it rushes through the wire and into the
English muffin, and from there into your stomach, where it
remains until you are walking down a hall scuffing your feet on
the carpet and you go to open a door, causing the electricity to
leap into the doorknob, where it remains forever, which is why
scientists are now concerned that if some unscrupulous entity
such as Libya or an adolescent male ever figures out how to
release this power, he could, using only the latent doorknob
energy contained in a single older ranch-style home, vaporize
Oregon."
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Rewritten by the Quantum Mechanic
(Author Unknown)
Updated 8/7/88 W0PN
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