"Hi, this is ______________...I'm not here anymore because I've
committed suicide--so if it's about any money I owe you, I'll
see you in Hell!"
committed suicide--so if it's about any money I owe you, I'll
see you in Hell!"
Related:
- My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole
package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby.
Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's... - ALIEN ZOMBIE & THE CONGO LIZARDS
You’re in luck.
As my luck would have it,
I made my bones in a musical family. Grandpop slapped... - I am committed-
or should be... - Voice Mail
My wife and I can't come to the phone right now,
but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get... - Clinton at the Bank
If President Clinton has had to do it like the rest of us.
this is how it SHOULD have gone: Hi, Mrs. and Mrs... - A: Hi I make more money than you can spend.
B:
Hi I'm leaving faster than you can comprehend... - 125 Things Never To Say During Sex
1)is it in?
2)that's it?
3)you've got to be kidding me. 4)(phone rings) hello... - PAINT IT LIKE A COW
The Fair.
I hadn’t been to one of these:
“regional events, held annually, consisting of farm... - She (to passing man): Excuse me, do you have the time?
He: Do you have the energy? What is your favorite...
From the same category:
- While giving a physical, the doctor noticed that his patient's shins were
covered with dark,
savage bruises. "Tell me," said the doctor, "Do you... - How many dope addicts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to roll it and one to light it up... - How would you like to come back to my place for a hamburger and some sex?"
"No!"
"What's the matter,
you don't like hamburgers... - A grungy old lumberjack, in town for the first time in weeks,
went to the local brothel and demanded the roughest... - Why did King Author wear his Cloak to the Great Ball,
rather than his Mantle? Cause kings go better with...
