A I R L I N E J O K E S AA (American Airlines) -

A I R L I N E J O K E S

AA (American Airlines) - Always Awful
AI (Air India) - Allah Informed
ALITALIA - Always Late In Takeoff Always Late In Arrival
- Air Line In Tokyo And Luggage In Amsterdam
BOAC (British Overseas Airways Corp.) - Better On A Camel
- Bloody Old and Careless
CA (China Airlines) - Choose Another
CAAC (Chinese Avation Airl.Comp.) - Chinese Airline Always Canceled
(Civil Aviation Authority of China ?) - China Airlines Almost (Always) Crashes
CPA (Canadian Airl.Intl.) - Can't Promise Anything
(New code CAI) - Crash And Ignite
- Call Ambulance Immediately
- Circle Airport Indefinitely
- Cruise Above Iceland
- Cancel Alaskan Itinerary
- Call Attendants "Idiots"
- Check All Items
- Copilots Are Imbeciles
- Casual Atmosphere Inside
DELTA - Don't Even Leave The Airport
- Don't Ever Leave The Airport
- Don't Even Let Them Aboard (referring to the arabs ?)
- Departing Even Later Than Anticipated
EAL (Eastern) - Eastern's Always Late
ELAL - Every Landing Always Late
JAT (Yugoslav Airlines)- Joke About Time
LOT (Polish Airlines) - Last One There
- Luggage On Tarmack (wave 'bye!)
LUFTHANSA - Let Us Fuck The Horses, Are No Stewardesses Available
PA (Philippine Airways)- Please Avoid
PAL (Phil. Airlines) - Philippines Always Late
PAN AM - Plan On Arriving Nervewracked And Mad
PIA (Pakistan Intl.Airl) - Please Inform Allah
- Panic In Air
- Perhaps I Arrive
QANTAS - Queer And Nasty Types As Stewards
SABENA (Belgium) - Such A Bloody Experience, Never Again
- Such A Bad Experience, Never Again
SAHSA (Servicio Aero Honduras SA) - Stay At Home, Stay Alive
SAS (Scandinavian Airl. System) - Sweet And Sexy
- Sex And Service
SIA (Singapore Intl.Airl.) - So Incredible, Aah
TACA - Take A Chance Airline
TAP (Portuguese Airl.) - Take Another Plane
TWA (Transworld Airl.) - Travel Without Arrival
- Try Walking, Asshole
- Try Walking Again
- The Worst Airline
- Took Wrong Airline
- Try Walking Across (transatlantic perspective)
- Travel With Arabs
- Terrorist Welcome Aboard
- Terrorists With Arms
- Teenie Weenie Airlines
- Traveling Without Air
- Tiny Wings Aflappin'!!!!!
USAir - Unfortunately, Still Alleghany In Reality

SOUNDALIKES:
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Aer Lingus Aer Fungus,
Aeroperu Aeroperhaps
Air Afrique Air Freak(out)
Air Canada Err Canada (as in "To err is human...")
Air France Air Chance
Air Wisconsin Scare Wisconsin
Alleghany Air Agony Air (USAir since many years)
British Airways Brutish Airways
Brutish Scareways
Cascade Airways Crashcade Scareways
Continental Contemptible
Lufthansa Lusthansa
Midwest Express Midwest Excess (True, but worth it)
Mohawk Slowhawk
Northwest Northworst
Northwaste
People Express CattleCar Express
People Distress
People Compress
Piedmont Piedmonster (merged with USAir)
QuebecAir Quick Air
TWA TightWad Airlines
United Untied
US Air Useless Air
US Scare
YouSAir
USAirheads

OTHERS:
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Delta "We love to fly and it's close"
"We love to show our flies"
Eastern Who?
Mexicana Where being Late is Fashionable