Doctor: Have you ever had this before? Patient: Yes

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• DOCTOR: I've got some bad news and I've got some really bad news
  PATIENT: Give me the bad news first. DOCTOR: Well...
• Patient: "Doctor, there's a tulip growing from my ears
  Doctor: "That's the strangest thing I have ever heard...
• During a routine physical, a doctor tells his patient to drop his pants
  After the exam, the doctor says to the man, "You have...
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  Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first...
• Unknown A visiting dignitary from Saudi Arabia had a bad headache
  Upon being examined by the doctor, it was discovered...
• This guy goes into a doctors and says "Doctor, doctor you've gotta help me
  I just can't stop having sex!" "Well how often...