A whale couple was strolling along the seaside (whales are monogamous,

A whale couple was strolling along the seaside (whales are
monogamous, you know), when the male whale spotted another whale being
harrassed by a whaling ship. We'll call the male whale Dick for
conveinience, and his female compaion Jane.
Dick turned to Jane and said, "I got a plan Jane, I'll go over
and blow my hole right at the harpoon sailors to knock them into the
water. Once overboard, you eat them. Sound OK?"
To which Jane replied, "Dick, I'll do the blowjob, but I won't
eat the seamen."


Man and wife make one fool.
A fate worse than death: to be married alive.
Don't marry for money. You can always borrow it cheaper.
Nuns: women who are married to God. If they divorce him do they get to
keep half the universe?
A man in love is incomplete till he is married. Then he is finished.
Do married people live longer, or does it just seem that way?
In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy.
Love is an obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.
Marriage is the sole cause of divorce.
Marriage isn't a word, it's a sentence.
Missing - and presumed married.
The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a
tedious book.
The theory used to be that you marry an older man because they are
more mature. The new theory is that men don't mature, so you might
as well marry a young one.
There's at least one fool in every married couple.
When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws.
Nothin' says lovin' like marrying your cousin! -- Al Bundy
In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved -- Butler
Marriage still confers one very special privledge - only some who is
married can get a divorce.
There's only one way to have a happy marriage, and as soon as I
learn what it is I'll get married again -- Clint Eastwood
Here lies my wife in earthy mould / When she lived did naught
but scold / Good friends go softly in your walking / Lest
she wake and rise up talking!
Spinster: A bachelor's wife
Somebody's .sig : My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm DAMN
lucky to have them.
Ted Kennedy: "Where was George Bush?" Answer: Dry, sober, and at
home with his wife.
Love thy neighbor, but make sure her husband is away first.