A Few Punny Ones: If the shortest distance between two points is a line,

A Few Punny Ones:
If the shortest distance between two points is a line, why does waiting in
one take so long?
I took my son to TGIFriday's for his twenty-first birthday. At the stroke of
midnight, he called Billy, the bartender over and asked him to recommend a
drink. Billy told him that he made the best margaritas in town and suggested
he order one. What should I tell my son about this recommendation? To take
it with a grain of salt.
A steady income will help you keep your balance.
Californians are not without their faults.
When thimbles were invented, many people got stuck without one.
There's still "incurable romantics". We need better antibiotics.
A guy swallowed a spoon and found he couldn't stir.
Setting out together to pick flowers, a group of British girls came to some
purplish flowers, whereupon they all stopped, took out their tweezers, and
began simultaneously tweezing their eyebrows. Why? Because birds in the
heather pluck together.
I lost some face today when I picked my nose.
A good thing for a tired witch to do is to rest a spell.
Sign in an Egyptian funeral parlor: Satisfaction guaranteed, or your mummy
back.
Paying for a gourmet dinner can be hard to swallow.