You know it's going to be a bad day when .

You know it's going to be a bad day when . . .
. . . your twin sister forgets your birthday.
. . . you wake up face down on the pavement.
. . . you put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
. . . you call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.
. . . you see a "60 Minutes news team" waiting in your outer office.
. . . your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
. . . you turn on the TV news and they're displaying emergency routes out of
your city.
. . . the woman you've been seeing on the side begins to look like your
wife.
. . . your horn goes off accidently and remains stuck as you follow a group
of Hell's Angels on the freeway.
. . . your boyfriend calls and tells you he has 6 days to live, and that
you'd better get the Test
. . . you have an appointment in 10 minutes and you just woke up
. . . your doctor tells you, "Well, I have bad news and good news..."