MY RESUME... My first job was working in an orange juice factory,

MY RESUME...
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned ...
couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so
they gave me the ax.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it ...
mainly because it was a so-so job.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.
Then I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice too my life
but I just didn't have the thyme.
I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the
mustard.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't
noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my
net income.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the
work was just too draining.
So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the
job.
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a
historian until I realized there was no future in it.
My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was
always the same old grind.
SO I RETIRED AND I FOUND I AM PERFECT FOR THE JOB!