Things You Don't Want to Hear From Tech Support
** "Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?"
** "...that's right, not even McGyver could fix it."
** "So... what are you wearing?"
** "Duuuuuude! Bummer!"
** "Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if
you're with the FTC."
** "We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct
tape, and a car battery."
** "I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."
** "In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."
** "Hold on a second... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!"
** "Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics."
** "Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney."
** "Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?"
** "...that's right, not even McGyver could fix it."
** "So... what are you wearing?"
** "Duuuuuude! Bummer!"
** "Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if
you're with the FTC."
** "We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct
tape, and a car battery."
** "I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."
** "In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."
** "Hold on a second... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!"
** "Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics."
** "Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney."
Related:
- WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?
1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to
"Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the
"Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that... - Wary Klink Live-Pillory Clinton
Wary: "Hello, welcome to Wary Klink Live.
Tonight's guests will be First Lady elect Pillory... - Calling Technical Support....
Ring... Ring... Ring.
Ring... Ring... Ring... Ring... Ring... Ring..... - ALIEN ZOMBIE & THE CONGO LIZARDS
You’re in luck.
As my luck would have it,
I made my bones in a musical family. Grandpop slapped... - Because I'm A Man...
** Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a
wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service
until long after hypothermia has set in.
** Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very... - You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across.
%end of list------------- Female to guy: Hi, you... - The Complete Set Of Blonde Jokes
--
12/15/92 Q: How do blonde braincells die... - 125 Things Never To Say During Sex
1)is it in?
2)that's it?
3)you've got to be kidding me. 4)(phone rings) hello... - From Sourcebook Magazine, Summer 1990, by Dan Gutman:
Would the invention of the telephone ever have gotten...
