Words To Live By...
Notice! Take lettuce from the top of the stack, or heads will roll!
Well, if Jerry Springer isn't educational TV, why does it make me feel so
much smarter?
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
I tried to get in touch with my inner child but he isn't allowed to talk to
strangers.
I have to take my paycheck to the bank. It's too little to go by itself.
Mountaintop Glue-Ru: "Stick to it! Stick with it! Stick it out! Stick to
your guns! Stick up for yourself!"
I must be following my diet too closely. I keep gaining on it.
Welcome to Megacomputer's 24-hour helpline. If you have been waiting LESS
than 24 hours, please remain on the line.
Whenever I'm in a mood to watch the world go by, I just keep to the posted
speed limit.
Notice! Take lettuce from the top of the stack, or heads will roll!
Well, if Jerry Springer isn't educational TV, why does it make me feel so
much smarter?
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
I tried to get in touch with my inner child but he isn't allowed to talk to
strangers.
I have to take my paycheck to the bank. It's too little to go by itself.
Mountaintop Glue-Ru: "Stick to it! Stick with it! Stick it out! Stick to
your guns! Stick up for yourself!"
I must be following my diet too closely. I keep gaining on it.
Welcome to Megacomputer's 24-hour helpline. If you have been waiting LESS
than 24 hours, please remain on the line.
Whenever I'm in a mood to watch the world go by, I just keep to the posted
speed limit.
Related:
- You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across.
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I'm glad I'm a man, you better believe.
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1988
REC.HUMOR.FUNNY
Computer Network Humour
Annual
I often get requests for back-jokes out of rec.humor.funny,
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1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate
eats meat.
Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie... - HOW GUYS THINK
By Dave Barry, Pulitzer Prize Winning Columnist
From The Boston Sunday Globe,
August 20, 1989 Today we're going to explore the mysterious... - Wary Klink Live-Pillory Clinton
Wary: "Hello, welcome to Wary Klink Live.
Tonight's guests will be First Lady elect Pillory... - Federal Aviation Administration,
Washington, D.C.
Gentlemen:
I was asked to make a written statement concerning... - Ten Rules for dating my daughter.
Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package,
because you're sure not picking anything up. Rule Two...
