All You'll Ever Need to Know About Marriage:
** Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits, and then
complain that he's not the man she married?
** Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
** When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the
inattention of one.
** Marriage is one long conversation, checkered by disputes.
** No human being believes that any other human being has a right to be in
bed when he himself is up.
** If you have a job without aggravations, you don't have a job.
** Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's
married to a grandmother.
** Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it's time to get up.
** Many a women who thinks she has purchased a dress for the ridiculous
price has actually bought it for an absurd figure.
** When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his
wife can beat him at.
** You can always tell a house with young boys in it. You have to wash the
soap before you can use it.
** Nowadays the pay check that arrives none too soon, is too soon none.
** A woman is like a tea bag: you never know her strength until she is in
hot water.
** Almost every child would learn to write sooner if allowed to do his
homework on wet cement.
** Women like the simpler things in life - like men.
** Robbers demand your money or your life; women require both.
** Children aren't happy without something to ignore; and that's what
parents were created for.
** It is a woman's business to get married as soon as possible, and a mans
to stay unmarried as long as he can.
** All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterwards that causes
all the trouble.
** Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits, and then
complain that he's not the man she married?
** Men are like wine - some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
** When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the
inattention of one.
** Marriage is one long conversation, checkered by disputes.
** No human being believes that any other human being has a right to be in
bed when he himself is up.
** If you have a job without aggravations, you don't have a job.
** Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's
married to a grandmother.
** Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it's time to get up.
** Many a women who thinks she has purchased a dress for the ridiculous
price has actually bought it for an absurd figure.
** When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his
wife can beat him at.
** You can always tell a house with young boys in it. You have to wash the
soap before you can use it.
** Nowadays the pay check that arrives none too soon, is too soon none.
** A woman is like a tea bag: you never know her strength until she is in
hot water.
** Almost every child would learn to write sooner if allowed to do his
homework on wet cement.
** Women like the simpler things in life - like men.
** Robbers demand your money or your life; women require both.
** Children aren't happy without something to ignore; and that's what
parents were created for.
** It is a woman's business to get married as soon as possible, and a mans
to stay unmarried as long as he can.
** All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterwards that causes
all the trouble.
Related:
- NEWS FLASH - Men And Women Are NOT Alike
Sure, you thought you already knew that.
But now we have proof! After countless hours of surveys... - NEWS BULLETIN - Men and women are NOT alike.
Sure,
you thought you already knew that. But now we have... - WOMEN SPEAK IN OESTROGEN AND MEN LISTEN IN TESTOSTERONE
by Matt Groening
RELATIONSHIPS:
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Chain Saw:
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The more beautiful the woman is who loves you,
the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings... - You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across.
%end of list------------- Female to guy: Hi, you... - The ark lands after The Flood. Noah lets all the animals out.
Says, "Go and multiply." Several months pass. Noah...
