Tidbits **Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?!** AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months,

Tidbits
**Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?!**
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked
"intellectual leadership". He received a $26 million severance package.
Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence...
**With a Little Help from Our Friends!**
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman
who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas
canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them,
shouting pleas to come out and give himself up...
**And What Was Plan B?**
An Illinois man pretending to have a gun kidnapped a motorist and forced him
to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then
proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts...
**And These Nitwits Are Teaching Our Children?!!**
A 9-year-old boy in Manassas, Virginia received a one-day suspension under
his elementary school's drug policy last week - for Certs! Joey Hoeffer
allegedly told a classmate that the mints would make him "jump higher."
And a student in Belle, West Virginia was suspended for three days for
giving a classmate a cough drop. School principal Forest Mann reiterated the
school's "zero-tolerance" policy...not to be confused with the
"zero-intelligence" policy...
**Some Days, It Just Doesn't Pay to Gnaw Through the Straps...**
Fire investigators on Maui have determined the cause of a blaze that
destroyed a $127,000 home last month - a short in the homeowner's newly
installed fire alarm system. "This is even worse than last year," said the
distraught homeowner, "when someone broke in and stole my new security
system..."
**And for the Main Course...**
A man in Taormina, Italy was hospitalized after swallowing 46 teaspoons, 2
cigarette lighters, and a pair of salad tongs.