Maybe YOUR life isn't that bad...
1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil
spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most
expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and
applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten by a killer
whale.
2. A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter
in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of
needling, he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an axe leaving her
mentally retarded.
3. In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on the world
flagpole-sitting record. Suffering from the flu he came down eight hours
short of the 400 day record to find that his sponsor had gone bust, his
girlfriend had left him and his phone and electricity had been cut off.
4. A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically
with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric
skillet. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him
with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places.
Until that moment he had been happily listening to his Walkman.
5. Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter
bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was
the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.
1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil
spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most
expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and
applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten by a killer
whale.
2. A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter
in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of
needling, he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an axe leaving her
mentally retarded.
3. In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on the world
flagpole-sitting record. Suffering from the flu he came down eight hours
short of the 400 day record to find that his sponsor had gone bust, his
girlfriend had left him and his phone and electricity had been cut off.
4. A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically
with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric
skillet. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him
with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places.
Until that moment he had been happily listening to his Walkman.
5. Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter
bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was
the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.
Related:
- The Wizard of Zone
Once upon a time in Depression-era Kansas there was a little
black boy named Zachary X (pronounced "ex" not "ten") who lived
on a farm.
He was an orphan, a cheap device to garner your sympathy... - THE DARWIN AWARDS
Date: December,1997
The Darwin Award is made each year to the person
who has managed to kill themselves (and therefore
prevent the survival of their genes -
hence Darwin!) in the most bizarre way imaginable.... - A woman from the south was attending a social gathering up north and
tried striking up a conversation .
"Where're you all from?" she asked to a group of ladies... - 100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate
1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate
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Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie... - There was this young boy coming of age and his father wanted to show him
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So he gave him 20 bucks and sent him down to the local... - Not the Sharpest Knife in the Drawer!
Police in Oakland,
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"Only the future is certain; the past is always changing"... - A tribe of Native Americans generally referred to their woman by the
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Thus, one woman might be known as Squaw of Buffalo... - While looking for a Real Job (read: technical writing),
I've been paying the bills doing medical transcription...
