At The Office...
Quote from a recent meeting: "We are going to continue having these
meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done".
Quote from the Boss... "I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going
to blame it on you."
A motivational sign at work: "The beatings will continue until morale
improves."
A direct quote from the Boss: "We passed over a lot of good people to get
the ones we hired."
My Boss frequently gets lost in thought. That's because it's unfamiliar
territory.
My Boss said to me, "What you see as a glass ceiling, I see as a protective
barrier.
My Boss needs a surge protector. That way her mouth would be buffered from
surprise spikes in her brain.
I thought my Boss was a bastard, and quit, to work for myself. My new Boss
is a bastard, too ... but at least I respect him.
He's given automobile accident victims new hope for recovery. He walks,
talks and performs rudimentary tasks, all without the benefit of a SPINE.
Some people climb the ladder of success. My Boss walked under it.
Quote from the Boss after overriding the decision of a task force he created
to find a solution: "I'm sorry if I ever gave you the impression your input
would have any effect on my decision for the outcome of this project!"
HR Manager to job candidate "I see you've had no computer training. Although
that qualifies you for upper management, it means you're under-qualified for
our entry level positions."
Quote from telephone inquiry "We're only hiring one summer intern this year
and we won't start interviewing candidates for that position until the Boss'
daughter finishes her summer classes.
Quote from a recent meeting: "We are going to continue having these
meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done".
Quote from the Boss... "I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going
to blame it on you."
A motivational sign at work: "The beatings will continue until morale
improves."
A direct quote from the Boss: "We passed over a lot of good people to get
the ones we hired."
My Boss frequently gets lost in thought. That's because it's unfamiliar
territory.
My Boss said to me, "What you see as a glass ceiling, I see as a protective
barrier.
My Boss needs a surge protector. That way her mouth would be buffered from
surprise spikes in her brain.
I thought my Boss was a bastard, and quit, to work for myself. My new Boss
is a bastard, too ... but at least I respect him.
He's given automobile accident victims new hope for recovery. He walks,
talks and performs rudimentary tasks, all without the benefit of a SPINE.
Some people climb the ladder of success. My Boss walked under it.
Quote from the Boss after overriding the decision of a task force he created
to find a solution: "I'm sorry if I ever gave you the impression your input
would have any effect on my decision for the outcome of this project!"
HR Manager to job candidate "I see you've had no computer training. Although
that qualifies you for upper management, it means you're under-qualified for
our entry level positions."
Quote from telephone inquiry "We're only hiring one summer intern this year
and we won't start interviewing candidates for that position until the Boss'
daughter finishes her summer classes.
Related:
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You've heard the recently coined slang phrase "Going Postal".
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Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know,
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1. The boss appears at your cubicle and finds you playing DOOM at
your desk,
you... A) Swear to take the game off your hard... - Not so famous quotes
Ah yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals
through his wallet.
Robin Williams Women complain about premenstrual syndrome... - A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
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Chain Saw:
( 1.) a chain saw has a dynamic range. ( 2.) you can...
From the same category:
- What are the dogs in Fire Engines for?
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home
one day when a fire truck zoomed past.
Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck... - Airport Encounters
I was in the airport VIP lounge in route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago.
While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably... - A lawyer named Strange was shopping for a tombstone.
After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked... - No Pets Allowed
Two buddies were out for a Saturday stroll.
One had a Doberman and the other had a Chihuahua... - Imagine for a moment if the computer revolution had occoured a decade or
so sooner.
With all the power and chaos of the 60's, it's not...
