The Eighteen Bottles I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my wife to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink,

The Eighteen Bottles

I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my
wife to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or
else... I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task. I
withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the
sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew
the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the
exception of one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from
the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank. I
pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the
bottle down the glass, which I drank. I pulled the bottle from the
cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down
the glass. I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork
down the bottle. Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the
drink and drank the pour. When I had everything emptied, I steadied
the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks
with the other, which were twenty-nine, and as the houses came by I
counted them again, and finally I had all the houses in one bottle,
which I drank. I'm not under tha affluence of incohol as some tinkle
peep I am. I'm not half as thunk as you might drink. I fool so
feelish I don't know who is me, and the drunker I stand here, the
longer I get.
-- Author unknown