You're Not Going to Win a Gold Medal
10. You're the only speed skater sponsored by Prozac.
9. You break both ankles while lacing up your skates.
8. While others "Go for the Gold" you go for the free buffet.
7. You've got as much chance of passing the drug test as Robert
Downey Jr.
6. Triple Lutz? No. Triple bypass? Yes!
5. Your bobsled is crammed with carry-on luggage.
4. McDonald's manager says, "Sorry, Ms. Harding, you can't have
the week off." *
3. Before your event you stay at a Karaoke bar till 4 AM singing
"Afternoon Delight."
2. There's no Olympic event for ski-jumping dogs.
1. Your ice dancing partner is inflatable.
MERCURY COMMUNICATIONS GROUP, INC.
10. You're the only speed skater sponsored by Prozac.
9. You break both ankles while lacing up your skates.
8. While others "Go for the Gold" you go for the free buffet.
7. You've got as much chance of passing the drug test as Robert
Downey Jr.
6. Triple Lutz? No. Triple bypass? Yes!
5. Your bobsled is crammed with carry-on luggage.
4. McDonald's manager says, "Sorry, Ms. Harding, you can't have
the week off." *
3. Before your event you stay at a Karaoke bar till 4 AM singing
"Afternoon Delight."
2. There's no Olympic event for ski-jumping dogs.
1. Your ice dancing partner is inflatable.
MERCURY COMMUNICATIONS GROUP, INC.
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