THE FIRST REALIZATIONS THAT YOU'RE NOT IN COLLEGE ANYMORE
**You're waking up at 6 am instead of going to bed.
**Beers at lunch get you reprimanded.
**College sweatshirts are 'casual' instead of dress up.
**Your parents charge rent.
**The four food groups are no longer beer, pizza, chips and cereal.
**It's 'getting late' when it's 9:30 p.m.
**Three words: Student Loan Payments.
**You make thousands of dollars a year - and still can't afford that
dream
Porsche.
**You start eyeing the Light Beer Section appreciatively.
**Pickup football games mean that at least one person will be in the
hospital by game's end.
**THEN, discussing with your friends: GPA's, spring break plans, and
tonsil
hockey;
**NOW: mutual funds, interest rates, and wedding plans.
**Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.
**Naps are no longer available between noon and 6 p.m.
**Sneakers are now 'weekend shoes'.
**Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one.
**Pregnancy now brings thought of tax deductions instead of
coronaries.
**Jack and Cokes become Dewers on the Rocks.
**The only drugs you take are Tums and Tylenol.
**The weak single you hit in the intramural softball game is now
remembered
as a Varsity dinger for the League Championship.
**You get your news from sources other than USA Today, ESPN
Sportscenter,
and MTV News.
**Random hook-ups are no longer socially acceptable.
**You wear more ties in a week than you even owned while taking in
college.
**You find yourself reminiscing fondly of 2-hour Calculus exams.
**You empathize with the characters from 'Friends.'
**METABOLISM SLOWDOWN
**Wine appreciation expands beyond Boone's and Mad Dog.
**You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
**Grocery lists actually contain relatively healthy food.
**When drinking, you say at least once per night, 'I just can't put it
down
the same as I used to.'
**Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real
work,
not video games.
**You're actually willing to pay a bit more to drink in a bar that's
not full
of '21-year-old kids.'
**Golf is beginning to seem a lot less silly.
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**You're waking up at 6 am instead of going to bed.
**Beers at lunch get you reprimanded.
**College sweatshirts are 'casual' instead of dress up.
**Your parents charge rent.
**The four food groups are no longer beer, pizza, chips and cereal.
**It's 'getting late' when it's 9:30 p.m.
**Three words: Student Loan Payments.
**You make thousands of dollars a year - and still can't afford that
dream
Porsche.
**You start eyeing the Light Beer Section appreciatively.
**Pickup football games mean that at least one person will be in the
hospital by game's end.
**THEN, discussing with your friends: GPA's, spring break plans, and
tonsil
hockey;
**NOW: mutual funds, interest rates, and wedding plans.
**Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.
**Naps are no longer available between noon and 6 p.m.
**Sneakers are now 'weekend shoes'.
**Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one.
**Pregnancy now brings thought of tax deductions instead of
coronaries.
**Jack and Cokes become Dewers on the Rocks.
**The only drugs you take are Tums and Tylenol.
**The weak single you hit in the intramural softball game is now
remembered
as a Varsity dinger for the League Championship.
**You get your news from sources other than USA Today, ESPN
Sportscenter,
and MTV News.
**Random hook-ups are no longer socially acceptable.
**You wear more ties in a week than you even owned while taking in
college.
**You find yourself reminiscing fondly of 2-hour Calculus exams.
**You empathize with the characters from 'Friends.'
**METABOLISM SLOWDOWN
**Wine appreciation expands beyond Boone's and Mad Dog.
**You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
**Grocery lists actually contain relatively healthy food.
**When drinking, you say at least once per night, 'I just can't put it
down
the same as I used to.'
**Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real
work,
not video games.
**You're actually willing to pay a bit more to drink in a bar that's
not full
of '21-year-old kids.'
**Golf is beginning to seem a lot less silly.
HOW DO I SUBSCRIBE?
It's free! Just send a message to
oracle-humor-subscribe@lyris.oraclehumor.com
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