Signs You Won't Be Nominated for a Grammy
10. No Grammy awarded for "Drunkest Fan at a Metallica Concert."
9. You think "R&B" stands for "Roast & Beef."
8. Your only experience with music this year was getting your tongue
stuck in the CD player.
7. All your love ballads contain the phrase "lactose-intolerant."
6. Sticker on your CD reads, "Parental warning: this record sucks."
5. Your band has no guitars, but plenty of bagpipes.
4. Critics agree: your CD makes a great drink coaster.
3. Your only album: the soundtrack to Deathboat '98.
2. Record stores keep your CD in a section called "Unlistenable Crap."
1. Your backup singers are barking dogs.
MERCURY COMMUNICATIONS GROUP, INC.
10. No Grammy awarded for "Drunkest Fan at a Metallica Concert."
9. You think "R&B" stands for "Roast & Beef."
8. Your only experience with music this year was getting your tongue
stuck in the CD player.
7. All your love ballads contain the phrase "lactose-intolerant."
6. Sticker on your CD reads, "Parental warning: this record sucks."
5. Your band has no guitars, but plenty of bagpipes.
4. Critics agree: your CD makes a great drink coaster.
3. Your only album: the soundtrack to Deathboat '98.
2. Record stores keep your CD in a section called "Unlistenable Crap."
1. Your backup singers are barking dogs.
MERCURY COMMUNICATIONS GROUP, INC.
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