You Won't Be Winning the U.S. Open 10. Doing a single sit-up makes you grunt louder than Monica Seles 9.

You Won't Be Winning the U.S. Open

10. Doing a single sit-up makes you grunt louder than Monica Seles
9. At tennis camp, you were voted "Most Likely to Swallow Your
Racket"
8. Somehow, most of your opponent's serves hit you in the back of
the head
7. After your last match, it took twelve firemen to untangle you
from the net
6. You keep missing serves because you're trying to light your
crack pipe *
5. You spend hours at a time trying to taste your racket's
"sweet spot"
4. Halfway through match, ballboy says, "Screw you -- get your
own!"
3. Your motto: "A bottle of schnapps a day keeps tennis elbow
away"
2. The only thing you've ever served is an Arch Deluxe at the
local McDonald's
1. You're often mistaken for a doubles team


(C) 1997 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated. All Rights Reserved